Tag Archives: Stay Together

I’m Independent But I Still Need My King!

The rise of the Black Queen understanding her worth and ability to survive despite her Kings being misplaced from their rightful throne has awakened many. We as Queens are being forced to be strong because the society we live in is very different from the days of old, where family and marriage came before all else. Now we are fighting to better educate ourselves in order to gain access to career fields, that now require a higher level of education. We have become independent by force and not so much as by choice.

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To be independent simply means you are creating paths by yourself, and for yourself, without necessarily depending on anyone to do it for you. There was a time when we Queens had to wait on the King to create a path for us, so that we could follow in his footsteps, and lead a successful home for our children. Now in 2017, we are no longer waiting on those paths to be created.

The thing that I have heard a few men suggest, is that women are now so independent that men are feeling as if they are not needed.

Why do my Kings feel that they are no longer needed in our lives ? Is it simply because we are out trying to earn a living and have something to bring to the table? No my King, I for one definitely need you.

My independence is not exempt of my need for a man in my life. I am out working hard daily to create a foundation that will help build the empire I desire to share along beside my future King. Independence for me is not begging a man to make things happen for me, but setting into action my own ability to make those things I desire to happen for myself. I never want to be that woman that is so dependent upon a man that she never accomplishes anything for herself.

I’ve seen to many of my fellow elders fail to educate themselves, or even have their name on anything because they were fully dependent on the man to provide. Shall a storm hit his pockets, how will she be able to help her King?! You need to have something going for yourself independently.

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I want to be that Queen who helps my King out….I’m his helpmate not his room mate.

When we build, it won’t just be him building alone. I want him to know that at any point if it gets tough or something tragic in life occurs, that he still has a Queen beside him that can hold the pillar up to our walls.

I can build alone but I’d rather build together ,so I’m not in full agreement with women who go around saying they don’t need a man for anything. I need my brothers and I feel the governments system has helped to flourish this brainwashed mentally among our black women. The “independent of a man syndrome” began back in slavery. It was during slavery that women watched their husbands get killed, beaten down by the slave owner and even sold. It was at that moment, many of them were forced to survive on their own and take care of children alone. Fast forward to today and you see programs designed to carry on this same venture. Women are freely able to receive Section 8 for housing as long as no man is living with her. Women are able to receive Food stamps as long as they are not married. There are a ton of programs out there to remind women that the good ole system will take care of them and their kids as long as they leave the man out of the picture. The music even went crazy with Artist encouraging women to stand alone and be independent of a man. So while women started pushing their men to the curve and dancing around to being solo, many failed to observe that the very same artists who said they found independence attractive, were the same ones who were married.

What they should have said, is that we admire women who can handle things on their own “IF “we need them to but not women who don’t want us in their life at all. Better yet, we enjoy women who have something going for themselves independently outside of what we are trying to do together. That’s what the music should have said.

   I call it the destruction of the black family household. 

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How can we  leave out our Kings? How can we be fruitful and multiply if we leave out our Kings? Yea of course there are ways to get pregnant without the oneness of you and a man but you still need his sperm. Right? So he is still very much needed.

I love the ability to have a strong shoulder to lean on when times are rough. I enjoy the company and passion of my King beside me. I admire the ability to be able to sit back and relax while allowing my King to be just who he was created to be in my life. Sure I can handle things if I need to but I will never block him from being allowed to be who God placed him to be in my life. I was born in this world alone but who said I had to enjoy it alone?! God did not make man to be alone.

This is just facts and of course my desire to keep a man in the picture is simply my choice. I can definitely independently handle business on my own but he is not exempt from the hustle scene beside me.

We as women have to break that horrid cycle of blocking our Kings out of our lives. Don’t let the system destroy your mind. Stand up for our Kings and stand independently strong beside him.

I’m saying “Baby I got you, if you need me”- NOT – “I don’t need you because I got this”.


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