Tag Archives: Relationships

I’m Independent But I Still Need My King!

The rise of the Black Queen understanding her worth and ability to survive despite her Kings being misplaced from their rightful throne has awakened many. We as Queens are being forced to be strong because the society we live in is very different from the days of old, where family and marriage came before all else. Now we are fighting to better educate ourselves in order to gain access to career fields, that now require a higher level of education. We have become independent by force and not so much as by choice.

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To be independent simply means you are creating paths by yourself, and for yourself, without necessarily depending on anyone to do it for you. There was a time when we Queens had to wait on the King to create a path for us, so that we could follow in his footsteps, and lead a successful home for our children. Now in 2017, we are no longer waiting on those paths to be created.

The thing that I have heard a few men suggest, is that women are now so independent that men are feeling as if they are not needed.

Why do my Kings feel that they are no longer needed in our lives ? Is it simply because we are out trying to earn a living and have something to bring to the table? No my King, I for one definitely need you.

My independence is not exempt of my need for a man in my life. I am out working hard daily to create a foundation that will help build the empire I desire to share along beside my future King. Independence for me is not begging a man to make things happen for me, but setting into action my own ability to make those things I desire to happen for myself. I never want to be that woman that is so dependent upon a man that she never accomplishes anything for herself.

I’ve seen to many of my fellow elders fail to educate themselves, or even have their name on anything because they were fully dependent on the man to provide. Shall a storm hit his pockets, how will she be able to help her King?! You need to have something going for yourself independently.

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I want to be that Queen who helps my King out….I’m his helpmate not his room mate.

When we build, it won’t just be him building alone. I want him to know that at any point if it gets tough or something tragic in life occurs, that he still has a Queen beside him that can hold the pillar up to our walls.

I can build alone but I’d rather build together ,so I’m not in full agreement with women who go around saying they don’t need a man for anything. I need my brothers and I feel the governments system has helped to flourish this brainwashed mentally among our black women. The “independent of a man syndrome” began back in slavery. It was during slavery that women watched their husbands get killed, beaten down by the slave owner and even sold. It was at that moment, many of them were forced to survive on their own and take care of children alone. Fast forward to today and you see programs designed to carry on this same venture. Women are freely able to receive Section 8 for housing as long as no man is living with her. Women are able to receive Food stamps as long as they are not married. There are a ton of programs out there to remind women that the good ole system will take care of them and their kids as long as they leave the man out of the picture. The music even went crazy with Artist encouraging women to stand alone and be independent of a man. So while women started pushing their men to the curve and dancing around to being solo, many failed to observe that the very same artists who said they found independence attractive, were the same ones who were married.

What they should have said, is that we admire women who can handle things on their own “IF “we need them to but not women who don’t want us in their life at all. Better yet, we enjoy women who have something going for themselves independently outside of what we are trying to do together. That’s what the music should have said.

   I call it the destruction of the black family household. 

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How can we  leave out our Kings? How can we be fruitful and multiply if we leave out our Kings? Yea of course there are ways to get pregnant without the oneness of you and a man but you still need his sperm. Right? So he is still very much needed.

I love the ability to have a strong shoulder to lean on when times are rough. I enjoy the company and passion of my King beside me. I admire the ability to be able to sit back and relax while allowing my King to be just who he was created to be in my life. Sure I can handle things if I need to but I will never block him from being allowed to be who God placed him to be in my life. I was born in this world alone but who said I had to enjoy it alone?! God did not make man to be alone.

This is just facts and of course my desire to keep a man in the picture is simply my choice. I can definitely independently handle business on my own but he is not exempt from the hustle scene beside me.

We as women have to break that horrid cycle of blocking our Kings out of our lives. Don’t let the system destroy your mind. Stand up for our Kings and stand independently strong beside him.

I’m saying “Baby I got you, if you need me”- NOT – “I don’t need you because I got this”.

 

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‘Just Feel’ -Poetry by Me (Tanisha D. Davis)

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“When did it become okay not to ‘feel’?
This society we live in…is so unreal.
See its okay to exchange moments as long as you never own it.
Its okay to take in the excitement love brings but to pour out that true joy of it is an uncommon thing.
To say I love you and I think of you every hour of the day could lead to you having your feelings laughed at on public display.
Every heart felt confession is now a screenshot claiming it to be proof of obsession.
Every act of pursuit is now filled with harmful words to pollute the mind and to separate you from reminiscing on the good times.
 
Man….When did it become okay not to ‘feel’.
Have we really fell down so deep in a hole of false expectations….to the point where seeing anything real is a distasteful infatuation.
Is it wrong to want some joy in the midst of life’s pain. Is it wrong to want some sunshine after a day of heavy rain. Something has to change…does everybody have to be the same. Are we living a life of cloned hearts caught up in a reckless game…the end turning into nothing but new levels of insane.
 
I want to say how I feel…I want to feel what I say….I don’t want to worry about man made rules…can’t let that get in my way.
I don’t mind expressing my most deepest thought..I can’t change what’s in my heart.
And though that path made lead to a multitude of heart breaks…..at least I can live free knowing that I did ‘feel’ and that this cloned world never made me fake.”
 
#JustFeel
By: Me – Starr T Davis
©®2017

Katch Up with Actor/Comedian Brandon T. Jackson

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Actor/Comedian Brandon T. Jackson

Brandon T. Jackson has been very busy lately and we are so proud of him with all of his latest achievements. The actor recently starred in a very popular love film, “Love By The 10th Date‘ which premiered on Lifetime. The movie was a hit with fans all over! The film had every woman wishing they had the character Dorian (Brandon T. Jackson) as their boyfriend. The film also starred, Meagan Good, Kelly Rowland, Keri Hilson, Christian Keyes, Kellee Stewart and more! 

The film tells the story of four friends (Meagan Good, Kelly Rowland, Keri Hilson, Kellee Stewart) trying to balance their dating adventures with their career ambitions at an upscale magazine, teaching themselves and each other how to get the most out of love and life.

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If you haven’t seen the film then you should definitely check it out! The film is available On Demand. I believe the film has a character that everyone can relate to in the field of finding love.

Brandon T. Jackson also recently appeared on The Real!

Catch Brandon T. Jackson on the Road!

Check Out the Clip from the show Below!

The work doesn’t stop there for the loved actor! 

Brandon T. Jackson stars in the new scary movie, “Eloise,” alongside Chace Crawford, but you’d be surprised at what happens to his character that defies the stereotype! Eloise tells the story of four friends that break into an abandoned insane asylum in search of a death certificate which will grant one of them a large inheritance. However, finding it soon becomes the least of their worries in a place haunted by dark memories.

Outside of putting in work on the screen, Brandon has been on tour. The #FreshNFunny Tour began last year, and has sold out shows everywhere!

Brandon T. Jackson

I had the pleasure of catching one of his shows in Atlanta, GA and the entire spot was on the edge of their seats in laughter the entire performance. Jackson has always proven himself to be very down to earth and realistic when it comes to reaching the audience. I believe what we adore the most is his knowledgeable way of relaying information to us while keeping it real about society and life experiences. 

Not only has the 32 year old been busy making us all laugh and entertaining us in the movies, he currently has his own clothing line! Yes Mr. Jackson is a business man with his hands quite busy these days. The clothing line represents his spiritual view on life and is called, Kingdom Clothing. The clothing line has been quite successful!

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Kingdom Clothing Line

We are so proud of the Actor and honestly we can’t wait to see him appear in more films this year. He truly deserves is own show!

You can keep up with Actor/Comedian Brandon T. Jackson on all Social Media Sites!

  Brandon T. Jackson: Facebook|Twitter|Instagram|Fan Page|

 

For those of you who may not be familiar with all the many accomplishments of Brandon, you can check out more information on him below.

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Brandon T. Jackson

 

About Brandon T. Jackson:

Brandon Timothy Jackson( March 7, 1984) was born and raised in Detroit, Michigan, he is the son of Beverly Yvonne (Bozeman) and Wayne Timothy Jackson. His parents are both pastors, and his maternal grandfather was a Pentecostal child preacher. He credits his sense of humor to both his father and his life straddling the fence between suburbia and the inner city.

Brandon held the title of “class clown” and grew his passion for comedy and acting by doing talent shows and performing at youth nights at his father’s church. By age 14, Brandon’s career as a stand-up comic evolved from local school shows and community projects, such as the “Motor City Youth Festival”, to an appearance in Marc Cayce‘s film, Nikita Blues (2001).

Brandon took an internship at local Detroit radio station 93.1 FM and soon found himself as a guest host at 105.9 FM. Brandon’s drive took him to Hollywood where, in 2001, he was cast as an extra in major movies such as Ali (2001), Bowling for Columbine (2002) and 8 Mile (2002). He began to get calls to open up and work with comedians, such as Chris Tucker and Wayne Brady.

After Brandon’s performances at New York City’s “Showtime at the Apollo” and BET’s Comicview (1992), the 19-year-old actor/comedian was cast in his first major movie role as Shad Moss‘s (X) best friend, “Junior”, in Roll Bounce (2005). He won Black Reel’s 2006 Best Breakthrough Performance award for his performance.

Jackson starred opposite NBA basketball superstar Kevin Durant in Thunderstruck (2012) and’Martin Lawrence (I)’ in the third incarnation of the highly profitable Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son (2011) franchise released by Fox in 2011. He played Lawrence’s son and the two went undercover to solve a murder. Jackson is perhaps best known as Alpha Chino from the high- concept runaway hit Tropic Thunder (2008).

Jackson received rave reviews for his role as the satyr Grover Underwood, the best friend and protector of Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief (2010), opposite Logan Lerman and Alexandra Daddario. Brandon co-starred in both Hulu’s original series Deadbeat(2014) and Showtimes’s _Californication (2008) (V)_.

Brandon currently lives in Los Angeles, CA.

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Oh No! Drake & J-Lo Have Broken Up!

Drake & J-lo Have Broken Up

Well the love journey has come to a slow end! After dating for almost two months, Jennifer Lopez (J.Lo) and Drake have reportedly split. Things between the rapper (who is currently touring) and the actress/singer have been said to be slowing things down a bit. A source says that the couple are done, “for now”.

Another source states that “they have taken some time apart, not because they don’t want to be with each other, just because their schedules started getting insane.”

Recently, J.Lo posted on her Instagram a quote that read,

“Timing is everything. If it’s meant to happen, it will, and for the right reasons.”

 

 

The pair initially began this little romance upon rumors in December, when Drake was spotted at two of J-Lo’s Las Vegas shows. He also invited J.Lo to a dinner party in West Hollywood on December 19, and they were photographed leaving together in the same car. Earlier this year, Drizzy bought J.Lo a $100,000 platinum and diamond Tiffany & Co. necklace. Drake made another grand gesture when he learned Lopez had never attended prom. The “One Dance” rapper transformed an L.A. church into a winter-wonderland-themed dance where the couple were crowned prom king and queen. “He wanted her to have that experience,” a source told US Weekly at the time.

The former American Idol judge has also introduced Drake to her 8-year-old twins, Max and Emme. A source says, “Drake has been hanging out at Jennifer’s new house in Bel Air. He has been there several times and is getting to know her kids.”

 Prior to dating Drake, Lopez dated dancer Casper Smart on and off for five years. They split last August. Drake was most recently linked to Rihanna. Lopez started up her Las Vegas residency again this week and also stars on “Shades of Blue,” while Drake as mentioned is still busy touring in support of his album, Views. So we can grasp some clear aspect as to why they need a little time apart with their schedules.

The duo turned the music industry upside down with after announcing their romance with a sizzling selfie but certain fans thought all might not be as it seems.

There was speculation that it’s all a publicity stunt for an upcoming collaboration or reality show. Certain fans even claimed  Drake targeted J-lo to get back at her ex (and his rival P Diddy). However, E! News said the couple were “100 percent legit, and not a professional ploy to promote any type of business like many are assuming.”

“She likes Drake,” reveals a source close to the Shades of Blue star.  “They’re just busy, so it has fizzled. She’s a mom with an insanely busy career. He’s touring in Europe. Who knows what will happen in the future when they’re more able to be in the same place.”

What do you all think about Drake & J-Lo’s relationship break? Do you think they will end up back together? Drake has been known to move on to the next pretty quick.

Drake & J-lo

Falling In Love With Me Again!

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Fall In Love With You

I have been through so much in life that it is definitely worthy of being composed in a book. Just to alert my readers, I am actually working on a book about my life. I have decided to stop procrastinating this year. But however that is not the topic of this message today.

I have been through so much that was meant to break me down from last year on up to now that your girl is honestly exhausted!

It’s difficult to keep enduring a fight for your happiness when the enemy keeps sending everything your way to break you down.

I woke up yet some how I am surprised to not find my body laying in tiny pieces of porcelain glass in the bed.

I have had the pleasure of receiving a lot of good news this year but also I have received enough bad news to almost knock the good out the park. I feel like I’m fighting on this journey to success with a rag wrapped around my face that’s trying to stop me from breathing.

It seems every time I get happy, I mean really really happy about my life, something horrible happens. The sad part is that the ones who attack you assume they know the full story about you but yet they know nothing at all. I mean they have the slightest clue of what the heck you are dealing with.

So this month is my birthday month and we all know that February is all about that love! This is the month for us to shower those we love with gifts. However I am choosing to sit back and allow myself to be loved from the inside on out. I have encountered so many bad relationships on where I thought with all my heart that I had found the one for me.

My dreams sadly were shattered left and right.

I almost got married but found out that no matter how much I had been doing right in that relationship, he was cheating on me. I mean thats enough right there to break a woman all the way down. Imagine doing all the things you felt were the right things to do and discover that the individual you were doing it for, didn’t appreciate it.

Yea I listened to what men said they wanted for years in a relationship. That woman was me. I cooked, kept a clean home, baked, washed clothes, and performed very well in the bedroom. Even studied different books that showed multiple ways to satisfy your man and yet and still he would rather search outside for another.

That year I lost myself. I slipped into a dark hole and it took a ton of prayer from family who knew what I was dealing with to help bring me back. I literally fell extremely ill because I felt like I just wasn’t enough!

I cried countless nights thinking I just wasn’t enough at all because had I been…he would have never left is what I told myself. It was during this time that I was in school trying to finish up my Bachelor’s Degree in Criminal Justice.

I spent a ton of time in prayer and I told myself that I didn’t want to get to know nobody else any time soon, because that heart break had almost caused me to lose my mind.

Yet that year I met what I felt was the sunshine I needed in my stormy life.

I met who I felt must have been the one.

Yet here I stand today again just weeks before that horrible date when my ex broke up with me. I stand here freeing myself of every hurt and pain that I have been through while searching for who I thought was the right one for me.

Ladies there are some men out there who are living a lie and that lie can tear you into pieces if you allow it to. I refuse to fall apart again so I’m starting off my soon to be 33rd birthday free of a relationship!

No more men lying to me and keeping secrets from me. I am free and falling in love with myself for once in my life. This year if love finds me….it will find me because it caught me staring along side the ocean and enjoying the peace of the waves and the sunshine glistening on its waves. It will never find me because I was out searching for it again. I discovered once again that “he who finds a wife, finds a good thing”….its not my place to go finding my good thing because my good thing will find me.

I’m sure many were so happy for me over the last year because they all just knew I had found my good thing. Yet that was the problem…”I ” had found it.

And no he was never a bad guy, he gave me everything I asked for but he had some inner things that he needed to battle with and that meant removing myself from the situation.

I’ll always love him and I’m sure he will always love me but while he battles himself….I shall go discover the love within myself that got lost along the way. I can honestly say I’m mentally and emotionally tired of broken hearts and discovering that things are not as they appear.

Who knows how the year will turn out for me but at the moment I’m just focusing back on loving me a bit more and a bit harder. Never let the flaws of others steal your joy and tear down your self esteem. It can very easily happen because I have dealt with it and often find myself dealing with it.

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You start feeling like you are not beautiful and that you are not worthy enough of love like all of your peers who are so happily married. Yea I’m about to be 33 with no wedding ring yet and I’m back single again because of secrets.

That can tear any woman apart.

Each time I tell myself to not let it change who I am on the inside. I keep my faith even when I feel like that was the last straw on my sanity. I don’t think men know just how bad the secrets and lies can destroy a woman who genuinely loves them.

I don’t think they have a clue.

So it’s back to me again and who knows…maybe while I’m working on these blessings before me…God will lead love my way.

Oh almost Happy Birthday soon to me!

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Finding Your Way Back To Love After A Break-Up

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Finding Your Way Back To Love

Finding Your Way Back To ‘You’ Can Be A Rough Journey.

Finding your way back to love after a terrible break-up can be difficult. No one likes breaking up but it’s part of everyday life. You find yourself growing further apart from the one you once couldn’t see yourself without. It just happens and sometimes it’s the worst feeling ever to get past.

There are times, that a break up, no matter how it ends can leave individuals on a soul seeking journey. They try to figure out what they did wrong in the relationship and how they can make the next relationship better.

During this time of solitude, one must not hesitate to first get back to loving yourself. When you are in a relationship, all of your time and effort goes into making the other person happy. There are times where you are so wrapped up into making sure the other person is happy that you lose out on remembering the things that once made you happy.

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So many have fallen into the error of trying to jump right back into a relationship due to loneliness, instead of allowing themselves to heal and properly prepare mentally for the next relationship. This can be a tragic mishap when they find themselves suddenly fearful and assuming the next person is going to be just like their last relationship. This happens simply  because they failed to allow healing of the mind and soul. When you break up from any long-term relationship, it is best to at least give yourself a year to spend alone. During this alone time, it is okay to date and just observe what you expect from the next relationship. It is a time to grow in areas that you may have grown weak mentally and physically in.

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One thing I see a lot of people do is began to punish themselves by thinking that just because a long term relationship did not work out, that they were at fault. You may have done everything you have known to do in that relationship that was deemed right in your eyes, but they still walked away. Do not let that punish you. Often times we have to look back at how a person grew up. Some people do not know how to love nor how to handle being treated well. It would seem that everyone in life is seeking something good for themselves, yet everyone honestly is not. If the world evolved around people always wanting the better good for themselves, then people would eat healthier and maintain those gym memberships right?

 

Understand that just because the person who left you did not appreciate what you had to offer, does not mean something was wrong with you.

You should continue to be the best person you know how to be and one day someone will appreciate all that you have to offer.

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So while you journey back to discovering true love, continue to work on becoming the best version of you. Be open to new things, and by all means, let go of past hurts and do not hold the new love accountable for the past encounters.

True love is right around the corner for you if you allow yourself to be open to receiving it. This means you began now tearing down that brick wall from the past hurt. Go into your garden, and uproot all the weeds in your life, and clip off those dead leaves.

Now is the time for new beginnings. The past is simply just that, it has no hold on you nor serves as a hindrance for the love you shall receive.

Embrace You & Return To Self!

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5 Questions All Single Men Should Ask When Dating!

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5 Questions Every Single Man Should Ask

Before you get too serious…

Is the new woman in your life a keeper or a player?

 Questions all single men should definitely consider asking any woman prior to making a commitment. Now we have read over a dozen books and articles that are giving the women tips on what to ask a man or what to look for in a man that she assumes will be a potential spouse. However we have not read up on too many novels dedicated to helping the men out.

 Single Men before you get too attached, lets pump those hormonal brakes and find out what she is really all about. You need to ask basic questions so that you can gain some understanding of where her head is, and if she will be a potential partner for the night or for the future.

 

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                           1. What are your short-term or long- term goals?

  This question is very important because you need to know exactly what she has going for herself. How can a Queen help out the King if she has no desires to do anything greater in life. You want a woman who will build with you and bring ideas to the table. You don’t want to marry a woman who has no plans for the future and just follows you around like a shadow while you make all the decisions. 

 

                       2. What are your views on Relationships or Marriage?

 This is a great question to ask because you need to find out if she believes in things that you oppose of in a relationship/marriage. You could be getting yourself involved with a woman who believes the opposite of you, and that can cause division and confusion along the way. There are so many women who are married or in a relationship, that live the lives of single women. Your goal is not to look for a woman who is perfect but for a woman who is a perfect fit for you. So many believe that opposites attract but honestly there must still be a common ground between the two of you to make it work.

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                                        3. What do you think about me?

 This may seem hilarious to ask but trust me, you need to know what a woman is thinking about you just as much as she wants to know what you think about her. When you ask this question, be quiet and observe. Observe for body language and look her in the eyes when she talks. The last thing you want to do is waste your time with a woman who is playing games with you and may only be interested in your finances more than she is into you. 

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                       4. What kind of relationship do you have with God?

 Many avoid asking these questions because they feel that someone’s beliefs should not affect you pursuing a relationship with them. However it is very important to know what type of person you are dealing with. She might seem to be the love of your life but she may be an atheist. She may worship Satan three times a day. So you need to know where her spiritual life resides. You need to be sure that again as stated before that you both share some common ground. 

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5. How well are you with managing money?

                                   Money makes the world go around right?

Then nothing can mess up your relationship than trying to build up your finances with a woman who loves to spend more than she loves to save. You will find yourself in some financial debt sooner or later. You can always take full control over the finances but eventually you will have a battle when she is complaining about wanting to purchase things while you both are trying to save for something greater. So be sure she can at least manage to keep a budget and not blow all of your money.

 These are simply just a few top questions to ask the women that you are pursuing with hopes of later becoming a potential partner for you. Every man needs a woman who will help to bring out the best in him as well as be his backbone. You need more than just a pretty face standing around you collecting dust and nagging about everything she feels you are not doing to make her happy. 

   Take some time to ask questions before you decide to have a future with anyone.

 

How To Keep Your Man Happy!

How To Keep Your Man Happy
How To Keep Your Man Happy

So exactly how do you keep your man happy?

 How to keep a man happy? Well the average woman will probably have a million responses. I can hear some of you now saying there is no exact way to keep a man happy because all men are not the same. I hear you, but ladies what I want you to know is that there are some basic steps that you can follow. If you can manage to follow some of these basic guidelines, then you can keep your man happy!

Men, no matter how different they are, are pretty simple when it comes to just a few things. Women however tend to be a bit more complex when it comes to satisfying our wants. Of course not all women are the same but then again this article isn’t about the ladies right?! So we won’t go in depth on that topic.

Lance Gross
How To Keep Your Man Happy

Let me add that the tips that I am about to break down for you will only be beneficial for the guy who is for you. I’m sure every woman has learned over the years that you can be everything to the wrong man. It doesn’t mean that would you did was wrong. It just means you did it with the wrong guy. There are some men out there that you can hit back bends for and swing from a chandelier and he will still leave you. That’s part of life.

Yet if you have a really good man who loves you and all you do is create an uncomfortable living space for him, then Houston we have a problem!

Relationships
How To Keep Your Man Happy

 

The first issue that every woman tends to do at one point or another is NAGG!

Now sure we all end up nagging for some reason or another but men don’t like it! You will find him escaping the roar of the dragon everyday if he has to. He’ll go hang out with his friends more, or just disappear to avoid all of the nagging. To be honest it may even remind him of being a child who is getting fussed at. He’s a grown man, so he will definitely get away from you to keep his man hood alive. There is a way to get your point across to your man without nagging. Men are simple but not dumb. If you tell him what the issue is then give him the space to fix the problem. When you nag daily about it, you might as well push him out the door of your life. Be his peace of mind!

 

The next issue that we as ladies don’t do enough of is SUPPORT HIM!

How often do we carry long conversations to him about all of our problems and the things we want?! We never take the time to see about his needs. We never ask him what is bothering him. Ladies you have to be concerned about your man. Find out how his day was and if he is dealing with anything. Be that pillow that he can lay his head on and vent to. There are times that we can be a bit selfish of his needs. You have to remember that he is still human. If he feels he can’t talk to you and get that support, he’ll find someone else to vent to.

Lance Gross
How To Keep Your Man Happy

Lastly ladies, stop expecting him to be someone he is not. Stop comparing him to your past relations. Stop trying to CHANGE HIM!

Most of you listen to your friend girls and take all of the wrong advice on trying to train a man to be something he is not. Now by all means you should push your man to be the best he can be, but don’t try to do a make-over stunt. You all remember the woman from the movie, “Two Can Play That Game” who fixed Bobby Brown’s teeth right? He started tripping on her. Let that man be all that he inspires to be for you without you trying to follow some rule book. A good man who loves you, will change for you by himself. He has been living with himself all his life so if he knows he has flaws that could affect your relation, he will happily work on them. If he doesn’t change to better the relationship then honey he just isn’t the one for you.

 

These are just a few tips towards keeping your man happy. Of course I could have added so much more but that will be saved for another topic. Now go home today and work on these three things, and see if you can make 2017 better than your past years!

Relationships
How To Keep Your Man Happy