Category Archives: Love & Relationships

Jada Pinkett Smith Reveals She ‘Had an Unhealthy Relationship to Porn’ [Video]

Jada Pinkett Smith says she was addicted to porn in a new episode of Red Table Talk.

via Complex:

“I wasn’t in a relationship when I had a porn addiction, believe it or not, thank goodness,” Pinkett Smith said to her co-hosts, daughter, Willow Smith, and mother, Adrienne Banfield-Jones.

Pinkett Smith continued, “I actually feel like I was using ‘addiction’ a little lightly. And maybe I’ll say now that I had an unhealthy relationship to porn at one point in my life where I was trying to practice abstinence.”

The actress has been married to Will Smith for almost 22 years, and said she ended up using porn because she felt an “emptiness,” adding that porn gave her “false expectations” when connecting with partners.

In the 23-minute episode, Pinkett Smith, Willow, and Banfield-Jones talked about the shame surrounding the enjoyment of porn, but how an addiction to porn can negatively impact a person’s career and personal relationships.

Watch the full episode below.

Issa Rae Engaged to Longtime Boyfriend Louis Diame

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Issa Rae is engaged!

The 34-year-old actress is set to marry longtime boyfriend Louis Diame.

via People:

Rae’s Insecure costars Jay Ellis and Yvonne Orji confirmed the news while walking the red carpet at the 2019 NAACP Image Awards over the weekend.

“We’re very excited for her,” Orji told Entertainment Tonight ,with Ellis adding, “We all found out in different ways because we’re all on different text chains. We talk at different times, so we all found out at different times in different ways.”

Orji said she couldn’t be more excited for her on-screen best friend.

“The reaction was all the same, like, ‘You out here in these streets getting married, boo!?’ That was the reaction,” she said.

Rae also attended the NAACP Image Awards, but she did not comment on her current relationship status. Her rep is not commenting.

And during her appearance on The View on Monday, she played coy when asked about her ring, saying, “I have a lot of rings on my fingers.”

Rumors of her engagement first began to swirl after she was spotted wearing a diamond ring on her recent Essence magazine cover.

Rae and Diame have largely kept their relationship out of the spotlight, though the businessman has accompanied the actress on several red carpets over the years.

Rae has said that she prefers to keep her personal life private.

“I get so much feedback about everything,” she told Marie Claire last year. “The one thing I don’t need feedback on is who I’m sleeping with.”

While speaking with Vogue, Rae expressed a similar sentiment, saying she isn’t interested in hearing fans “input” about her love life.

“I don’t want any input,” she said. “As a writer, you put everything on the table. I’ll take input on kids if I’m going to have kids. How do I not kill the kids? Work? Give me the input. Any other aspect of my life? Give me the input. But who I’m f*cking? No, I don’t need input. I’m good.”

Congrats Issa!

3 Quick Tips On Making a Long Distance Relationship Work

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Many people believe that long distance relationships are never going to work out. Your family may discourage it, and some of your best friends may advise you not to take it too seriously, in case you get your heart broken. Nobody said it would be easy, things could get complicated, and you could get sad and lonely at times. However, the extra distance also makes the simplest things, the sweetest.

So below I have shared 3 helpful tips towards making your long distance relationship work!

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  1.    ALWAYS MAKE TIME FOR ONE ANOTHER

    Long distance relationships are hard enough, and causing your significant other to feel less important can really affect your relationship. The small things really do matter especially in a long-distance relationship. Making a schedule can save and change the relationship for the better. For example, video chatting in the morning and night can make you feel more closer and your bond in fact will get stronger. Always make sure to let your spouse know your working schedule. There is no worse feeling than calling your spouse 5 times, and your spouse answering 4 hours later. If you are busy or know you’re going to have a busy day, take a few seconds to simply shoot him/her a text to let them know, and not have them thinking the worst.

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  2.   MAKE EVERY ANNIVERSARY UNIQUE

    Anniversaries mark the day that you both decided on faithfully loving each other.  Your day most likely will consist of receiving a sweet good morning call, long paragraphs, and maybe some foreplay on the phone once the sun goes down.  Try to switch it up and not repeat the same thing. This can be a difficult task but really put your mind and heart into it.  Take it back to hand written letters. Maybe send them a second envelope with photo prints. Another great idea is sending them a teddy bear with a custom voice box and try getting them a teddy bear that’s their favorite color. Long distance relationship are very hard on special days like these so try to surprise him/her and catch a plane, especially on your 1-year anniversary.

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  3.   TAKE THE RELATIONSHIP SERIOUS

    Long distance relationship or not, why be in one if you do no take it as serious as you should? Its hard to prove yourself in a long-distance relationship because you are not physically there. Once you start showing effort and support, you will be taken seriously. Tell your family and friends, show them off on Facebook, and always prove to others and to yourself that you take the long-distance relationship very serious.   There will be brighter days and you guys will be together one day, this is only temporary 😊

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Be sure to follow the site for more helpful information and keep up with Starrdom100 Blog on Instagram! (@Starrdom100Blog)

Will You Wait For Him To Become The Best Man For You?

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Credit: Donnell Blaylock Jr Instagram

Is The Right Man Worth Waiting On?

Queens we have been told many times to not put your life on hold for a man. Why? Well some will say that you should not wait for no man because he may never be ready for you, or you could risk the chance of missing out on the man who is right for you.

So here is the twist in that theory. There is a possible chance that the one you are interested in and waiting for, could very well be the right one for you.

Now of course, you want to be sure that he is worth waiting for, and you will know that by his actions towards you.

Before you decide to put your love life on hold for any man, you need to be sure that the feelings are mutual. Does he really care about you the same way that you care about him? Has he stated to you verbally that he wants to be with you, but wants to get himself together first? If so then what’s the rush? You can’t help but respect his honesty.

A man who loves you wants to offer you his best. He doesn’t want to present himself to you as some broke dude with no way of taking care of you or raising a family. Some want to at least move up out of their mom’s house, and let’s add that some men are still living at home with their mom to save up and it’s nothing crappy about that. Let’s admit apartments cost a lot of money these days and the money you spend on them is not returned so I’m not going to knock a man who still is at home saving up to buy a house. Some men still have a lot to work on before stepping into those shoes that mean being a leader and the man of the house. I’m not one to judge a man based on his living conditions.

It sounds so good to want to be with a man when he is at his lowest. There is nothing wrong with that. But I admire a man who tells you upfront that “I’m not ready yet” and “I want to get myself together first.”

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Credit: Donnell Blaylock Jr Instagram

That’s a man who is not trying to live paycheck to paycheck and drag you along for the journey. He’s trying to save you a headache and various stages of depression.

Now of course there are videos everywhere protesting against waiting on anyone, but I truly believe that a man who wants to prepare himself to offer the best version of himself to you is a respectful and beautiful thing.

I mean what is wrong with a man wanting to get his life together before dragging you into the picture?

Some men don’t want a woman he truly loves to be with him while he is struggling and barely the man he is supposed to be in order to be her head as God ordained man to be.  Yes the support during that low period is beautiful, but some men want to wait so they can offer you the best.

I will admit that I was that person who felt you shouldn’t wait on no man. But there are men who will come in your life and prove themselves to be worth the wait. I don’t mind waiting until the man who has actively shown himself to love me….gets himself together first. We are so in a rush these days for love and love is something that can’t be rushed.

Love takes time. A man who loves you, wants to take his time and get his life together before involving you.

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Credit: Donnell Blaylock Jr Instagram

Because you may very well lose interest or trust in him if you get the man that he is right now. 

When a person is struggling, they can be very angry, depressed, bitter and so many other things. Those various moods could be reflected on you unintentionally. Do you know how many men get involved with women before they are ready, and mess the relationship up? They get involved to soon because they want to make the woman happy and not risk losing her to another man, despite knowing they are not ready.

There are women out there right now who are mentally scarred because of what happened to them in a rushed relationship. The man simply was not ready or in a place to be what he felt he needed to be for her.

There are so many good men, who get cheated on, and I don’t condone cheating but it happens because maybe his finances were not right, so she got tired of him being broke all the time. Despite the fact that he told her upfront that he was working on getting his finances together but she was persistent towards being with him anyway. She wanted to force him into something he stated he was not ready for.

Ladies this is not a swimming course where you push the man into the pool and expect him to start swimming. Some will drown if they are not ready to swim.

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You have to listen to men when they are talking to you and respect their honesty. It can save you a lot of hurt in the long run. Let me add that a man who is stating the facts upfront that he is not ready yet for you, is showing you that he doesn’t want to be that man who hurts you.

I believe the best response would be to accept that, and be willing to wait if he states that he wants you to give him time to improve. If he is genuinely a good man to you and to your heart then he is worth waiting for. Don’t rush him or force him.

Now by all means do not sit up waiting on a man who is not stating he wants to better himself for you or is not even showing any signs of mutual desire for you. Your waiting will be in vain.

Make sure the love is mutual and if so then take your time. He is worth waiting for if the love is mutual and his actions match.

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Credit: Donnell Blaylock Jr Instagram

Be sure to get your copy of my new book which is now available on Amazon titled, “You Are Worth The Wait”. Simply search Tanisha D. Davis on Amazon to locate my new book which is especially for those who know that they are worth waiting for!

CLICK HERE! For my new book, “You Are Worth The Wait.”

Share your thoughts in the comments below on the topic.

Do you feel a good man who has stated he wants to better himself first before pursuing a long term relationship or marriage with you is worth the wait?

#ASKStarr: Question of The Day

Dear Starr,

“I’ve been dating this guy for about 3 months and he’s great so far. Respects my decision to not have sex, provides for me without me asking, motivates me to follow my dream, is dating for marriage, no kids, hard worker, perfect gentleman…even stands near the street when we are walking…but the problem is that I’m not over my ex bf. My ex, I feel…never had a chance to make things go the way they should’ve. We were both selfish, sneaky and manipulating to one another…since we have split, he’s expressed himself to me and we share the same feelings for one another…id love to leave this new guy and work things out with my ex…or at least try…I feel like if I don’t, I’ll always wonder what could’ve been…..but…the new guy is in love with me…he’s invested a lot…idk what to do.”

 

Starr Response:

Okay. This is a tough situation. First let me say that I always encourage others to give yourself time to heal before dating or beginning something new. The reason is because you can meet someone amazing like the guy you are dating and risk hurting him because you have not fully healed just yet. What you have to consider is whether your ex is even worth going back to. Because it sounds like the guy you are dating is amazing! I always look at things like if it was meant then it would have worked. At this point I believe the best thing to do is be honest with the guy you are dating, and see if he is willing to be patient with you while you heal. I wouldn’t look back to an ex. Because regardless of how it ended, it ended for a reason and now God has allowed you to meet someone awesome. Go forward but be honest with him and take your time.

(Anonymous stated that she recently broke up with her ex in May and started dating the new guy in August)

Anonymous:

“I have been honest with him. I told him I’m still healing and that I want to take things slow but he still wanted to claim me as his girl…but I’m still wanting to reach out to my ex and see where things could go.”

“I think I just don’t want to let him go, because it was a time that I did, that’s when I prayed and asked God to deliver me from it and he did, but I went back, over and over.”

Starr Response:

It is a plus that he understands what you are going through, which speaks volumes about him.  I know it will be tough, but take your time and embrace the love this new man is offering. If you go back to your ex, things may be another repeat of what caused you to break up before. You have to break the cycle. By going back, you are going to lose the chance to regain the heart of the young man interested now, if you go back and discover things didn’t change. The new guy you are dating, sounds like he is the type of guy who wants to love you, respect you and accept you just as you are despite what you have been through. Do encourage him to be patient with you but don’t keep him on hold forever. Never let anyone rush you into something just because they are ready. Take your time but embrace the love this young man is offering. There is always going to be an attachment to your past, and there will always be that odd urge to think “what if” because you just recently broke up. Time heals all wounds, so keep going forward and eventually those thoughts will go away. Don’t continue to hold on to what has let go of you and proven in the past to not work out repeatedly. He is use to you running back so don’t keep giving him that privilege. It’s time to embrace a new beginning and let the past, remain the past. Let him go and honey enjoy this new love that God has sent your way!

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Do you have a question about a Relationship issue, Dating matter or something personal you are trying to figure out how to handle?

Submit your questions to #ASKStarr. You will be kept anonymous.
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Email: starrdom100blog@gmail.com

 

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You Can’t Make Him See Your Worth

 

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“We cannot think of being acceptable to others until we have first proven acceptable to ourselves.” ― Malcolm X

 We all want to be adored and accepted by the person that you have an interest, or love towards. It makes you feel good inside to know that there is another soul out there that loves your existence just as much as you do. It feels good to be wanted by someone and therefore when we cross individuals who display the exact opposite of want, it causes confusion mentally and emotionally. Love is a very powerful feeling, and it is so important to love yourself first before you can look for it from others. To know love for yourself, is to be able to identify what love is.

How can I tell if a person is displaying love towards me, if I can’t identify what it looks like and feels like?

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When you love yourself, you develop a sense of self-worth, and it helps you to understand that you are valuable. Self-worth is about who you are, not about what you do. When you know who you are as a person then you know what it is that you are willing to accept and what you will not accept.

There are so many individuals who do not value themselves enough to leave some terrible situations. Many are trapped in bad relationships and marriages because they want their partner to show them that they are loved and worthy of their attention, time, and affection.

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However you can’t make someone see your own worth. It is up to you to know it and if that individual can’t see the beauty within you then leave them be. No matter what I do, I can’t make someone indulge in the amazing taste of ice cream if they don’t want to.

No matter how many people love ice cream and go out to purchase it. So in other words you may be the best thing ever but it takes a willing individual to say I see something amazing right before me and I want to take part in it and give love a try with you.

If a person misses out on you and your great qualities, then it’s their loss and not yours.

I think we get so caught up in trying to force love upon someone that we forget that real love just happens and flows naturally without force. If you have to force someone to love you, then it is not love. If you got to put on an entire tap dancing show to make a person see that you are valuable and worthy then honey you are going about things the wrong way.

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True enough there are some people in life who will make you feel unworthy. Maybe you have seen them give more time and attention to another individual more than they have towards you. This is speaking of the dating phase and therefore you may start to compare yourself to another person. You can’t base your worth off of another person.

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If you walk into a jewelry store you will discover that there are many jewels and diamonds and each hold their own value. The beauty of it is that they lay there in wait to be discovered by the person who is looking for that exact jewel. There is someone out there who is looking for you just the way you are. They will see the value of having you in their life and will not cease at nothing to make sure that you know that you are the best thing to ever happen to them.

You are worthy and valuable to the right one. Be patient and do not entangle yourself with anyone that you have to force to see the beauty within you.

Be sure to get a copy of my new book, “You Are Worth The Wait” which is now available for you to order on Amazon. (Click Here!)

 

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