“I’ve been dating this guy for about 3 months and he’s great so far. Respects my decision to not have sex, provides for me without me asking, motivates me to follow my dream, is dating for marriage, no kids, hard worker, perfect gentleman…even stands near the street when we are walking…but the problem is that I’m not over my ex bf. My ex, I feel…never had a chance to make things go the way they should’ve. We were both selfish, sneaky and manipulating to one another…since we have split, he’s expressed himself to me and we share the same feelings for one another…id love to leave this new guy and work things out with my ex…or at least try…I feel like if I don’t, I’ll always wonder what could’ve been…..but…the new guy is in love with me…he’s invested a lot…idk what to do.”
Okay. This is a tough situation. First let me say that I always encourage others to give yourself time to heal before dating or beginning something new. The reason is because you can meet someone amazing like the guy you are dating and risk hurting him because you have not fully healed just yet. What you have to consider is whether your ex is even worth going back to. Because it sounds like the guy you are dating is amazing! I always look at things like if it was meant then it would have worked. At this point I believe the best thing to do is be honest with the guy you are dating, and see if he is willing to be patient with you while you heal. I wouldn’t look back to an ex. Because regardless of how it ended, it ended for a reason and now God has allowed you to meet someone awesome. Go forward but be honest with him and take your time.
(Anonymous stated that she recently broke up with her ex in May and started dating the new guy in August)
“I have been honest with him. I told him I’m still healing and that I want to take things slow but he still wanted to claim me as his girl…but I’m still wanting to reach out to my ex and see where things could go.”
“I think I just don’t want to let him go, because it was a time that I did, that’s when I prayed and asked God to deliver me from it and he did, but I went back, over and over.”
It is a plus that he understands what you are going through, which speaks volumes about him. I know it will be tough, but take your time and embrace the love this new man is offering. If you go back to your ex, things may be another repeat of what caused you to break up before. You have to break the cycle. By going back, you are going to lose the chance to regain the heart of the young man interested now, if you go back and discover things didn’t change. The new guy you are dating, sounds like he is the type of guy who wants to love you, respect you and accept you just as you are despite what you have been through. Do encourage him to be patient with you but don’t keep him on hold forever. Never let anyone rush you into something just because they are ready. Take your time but embrace the love this young man is offering. There is always going to be an attachment to your past, and there will always be that odd urge to think “what if” because you just recently broke up. Time heals all wounds, so keep going forward and eventually those thoughts will go away. Don’t continue to hold on to what has let go of you and proven in the past to not work out repeatedly. He is use to you running back so don’t keep giving him that privilege. It’s time to embrace a new beginning and let the past, remain the past. Let him go and honey enjoy this new love that God has sent your way!
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